Who’s Your Daddy…And Your Burglar???

“You are NOT the father!” Ok, so maybe you are or maybe you’re just not sure. This quote is one of the famous lines heard on the popular (and disgraceful) Maury Povich show. And fresh off the heels of Moira Johnston going topless for a good cause (***blank stare***) and an outrageous proposed ban on sodas, New York City strikes once again. This time, they’re standing up for the dads (or those that may not be the dad). Jared Rosenthal is charging anywhere from $299 to $575 for men to get paternity tests taken right there on the spot. Sounds like a good business venture, right? Well, where is his office you ask? Let’s just say it’s with him wherever he goes. It’s a “Who’s Your Daddy?” van that he drives around the city. The van is decorated with a contact phone number, and a “DNA testing” sticker on the side.

It’s a simple process. All the men have to do is take a swab test and then wait a couple of days for results. The results can either be delivered by mail or in person. The van has taken off so well that men have been seen flagging it down and chasing it in the street. But for some that want to be more discreet, they call in instead. As expected, Rosenthal states that some of the paternity scenarios can be quite dramatic when people try to get specimens from their spouse. As weird (and dangerous) as this sounds, I actually think it’s a good idea and a great business move. There are some things that will always be in demand. And let’s face it, as long as people are making babies, paternity tests will always be around. What do you think about the “Who’s Your Daddy?” van? Is it too much or something that should be spread in more cities than New York?

But there’s one man that we definitely wouldn’t want to get tested by the “Who’s Your Daddy?” van, let alone have any kids. Meet Russell Neff. If you live in Salisbury, MD, chances are you already have. Although they are unfortunate, there are so many burglary stories that don’t even see the light of day in the media. With presidential elections on the horizon, Olympic games, and summer blockbuster movies, there’s just no room for ordinary crime. But 22-year-old Russell Neff is not your average burglar. After hearing loud bangs at his door at 10:30pm, the homeowner (whose name was not given) went upstairs to call the police. And here’s what he and police found when they arrived at the scene….no missing TVs, jewelry or furniture. Nope, just Russell stripped down to his underwear, reclined in a comfy chair and licking a remote control. And oh yeah, he must have been hungry too, because he did manage to steal a chicken pot pie. But he decided to dine in and eat it at the homeowner’s residence. WTH?! After initially resisting arrest, Russell Neff was taken and charged with burglary, theft of a chicken pot pie (really??? lol), malicious destruction of property and resisting arrest.

Ok, so is everyone else thinking what I am about this situation with Russell Neff? How in the world did the homeowner not beat this burglar down for breaking in? I’m sensing this must have been a very elderly gentleman….or at least I hope. SMH…what is the world coming to?

8 thoughts on “Who’s Your Daddy…And Your Burglar???

  1. LMBO!! Carlos this a good post and too funny. I actually like “Who’s your Daddy” van idea…the creater is really on to something…he should really try to branch the idea out. As far as the burglary, I am with you…I am hoping the homeowner was elderly because I would have beat old dude down..WTH! LOL

  2. Carlos, this is too funny…. But you got to admit, a Chicken Pot Pie especially if it’s Stouffers or Mortons, is worth the burglary… LOL. Just Kidding… But they are good…. DNA on the Go, not sure about that one. I wonder how acurate it is? And maybe Maury will go on the road now…

  3. I hate you did not think of this first! This is a great idea!! Everything else is mobile, why not paternity tests??? As for the burglary guy, there may be more to this story than we have been told! How weird!! Great blog, Carlos!!

    • I really hate I didn’t too! I’m sure he’s making some good money off of this idea! Right, I think there is more to the burglar story too. Very abnormal burglary…thank you! I’m glad you enjoyed it!!

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