The Honesty Box

 

Imagine waking up on the morning of your birthday. You check your phone and find that you have plenty of missed calls, text messages and social media shout outs. After putting on your best outfit, you find a medium sized plain box, with a bow on it, sitting directly outside of your front door. Smiling from ear to ear, you pick it up and shake it gently. There’s got to be something special inside for you. Little do you know the surprise that’s lurking inside of the box. It’s filled with different colors of index cards with words typed, not handwritten, on them. It seems a little impersonal for such a spectacular event – after all, it is your birthday. As you take a closer look, you realize that the words printed on the cards are people’s opinions about you. Some are outstanding remembrances of your wonderful personality, while others are harsh reminders of your past and unfavorable comments about you. As you continue to sift through the many index cards, you find a tape recorder at the bottom. You play the message back and a stoic voice simply says, “Welcome to the honesty box”.

 

Wouldn’t it be interesting if we were all handed an “honesty box”, filled with anonymous statements of how people really feel about us? Those things they only have enough balls to say behind our backs, but not in our faces. Wait, let’s be somewhat optimistic and assume there are some nice things in there as well. We can hope for an honesty box for people to tell us how they really feel about us, but reality isn’t quite aligned with that. But you will be able to get Honesty Box in your hands very soon. It’s my upcoming poetry and essay book, set to be released later this year. You may have noticed tweets from me with the hash tag #whatsinthebox. Well, what’s inside the box? Honesty. For those of you that have read my first two books, Blurred Vision and Hindsight 20/20, you’ll find that Honesty Box is even more raw, candid and personal. It’s my version of the truth and I’m sticking to it….

Check out the rest of the post here…

Honesty Box- Coming Soon

New Website, New Look, New Mailing List….

carlos

 

HOWDY WORDPRESSERS,

I have exciting news for you…  I’ve switched from Word Press to my own personal website…   I’m really excited about the freedom I will have to share with you all more Music, WTH Moments, and more inspiration…  If you would like to continue receiving emails and updates from Peauxetic Expressions, please click on the link below.

Please subscribe to my mailing list at  www.peauxeticexpressions.com

 

Thanks again for joining the Peauxetic Expression Family….

 

Carlos

“Band Aids” Never Last

For those that have recently followed my blog and may not know, I released a book of poetry last year called Blurred Vision (you can purchase a copy here on my website). I’m really getting excited about my second book though, which I won’t reveal the name of just yet. I’ll just say that it has something to do with seeing more clearly after the “Blurred Vision” has passed. But it will be released during the first half of next year. Here’s one of the poems that will be included in my new book, called “Band Aid”. The poem speaks about how we often put temporary fixes on issues that need more attention than just a quick band-aid. Let me know what you think!

Band Aid

You cannot ignore what

You are not willing to fix

The raw meat of the issue

Lies strategically betwixt your temporary solutions

And your conscience

This conjunction is a conundrum

Much more complicated than a catch 22

Cause that can easily be

Caught, conquered and split in 2

Unlike this crass bag of disaster

That leaves me flat on my ass

After deep thoughts cannot divide

Happy moments cannot subtract enough

To change what’s on the other half

Of the equals sign

It’s time to face what

Can’t be erased

We are soldiers strapped for war

Ironically marching in place

With patches over skin

Like quilted tapestry

Trying to heal wounds

Soul sunken deep

Band aids alone were never meant

To cure your issues

They just help block out extra debri…

For a little while

So rip it off

Even if it comes with

A little skin

You’ll do yourself more of a favor

Than that band-aid ever did

Quiet The N.O.I.S.E.

I love going to the movies. If it weren’t for the expensive cost of movie tickets, I probably would go every weekend, provided there was something I wanted to see. No matter what movie or theater you’re in, you will always see an ad or commercial to keep quiet during the movie. Life is a lot like being in a theater. There’s action, drama, violence, romance, comedy and even horror. But we’ll never understand life (or movies) if we don’t quiet the N.O.I.S.E. When our mind’s aren’t probably focused on the featured presentation before, we can misconstrue the plot and miss important aspects of the film.

One of the noisiest, self-destructive emotions we can ever display in life is insecurity. Insecurity is extremely dangerous for this very reason: Not Operating In Security is Exhausting. In a sense you can say insecurity = N.O.I.S.E. Do you really want to keep up all that ruckus in your life? The funny thing is people usually associate insecurity in romantic relationships only. But it goes so much further than that. Insecurity can keep you from reaching your dreams, supporting those around you and living your life to the fullest.

Have you ever been guilty of being insecure (don’t all raise your hands at once)? I know I have. Let’s all remember to quiet that noise of insecurity so that we don’t miss any important details in life.

Check out the recent poem I wrote below, called “In Security”. Let me know what you think about it.

In Security

Somebody please take these

Handcuffs off of me

With urgency

It’s an emergency

My bitterness, my lust

My analytical mistrust

Is what’s got me traveling

Through this confusing intra-state of mind

A rebel against the limits of reciprocity

I don’t really mean it

So you should understand me

And search within the core

That’s where you’ll find the best of me

Never mind the jagged edges along the way

Because the way to love is pain

As this metal begins to scrape against my veins

This ignorance ain’t bliss

Cause after several failed attempts

I’m that hopeless penny with not one

But two holes in it

You see I never really learned

That the way to love is gained

By none of the actions I exhibited

Uninhibited acts of jealousy on the left wrist

And premeditated malice on the right

If I could just get these handcuffs off me

Maybe I could teach myself to sleep at night

But because I didn’t operate in security

By rationalizing events ever so insecurely

I failed to realize that surely

Love is never a sense of stable instability

The sirens are coming closer

Somebody call security

No Guarantees (New Poem)

Here’s a poem that I wrote recently. My mind was heavy that day and this is what came out of my thoughts. Decided to share this one since I haven’t posted one in a while. Let me know what you think! 

 

No matter how hard

We try to hold on

There are no guarantees

Tomorrow you may awaken

And find yourself out of love with me

Today she may realize that

Beauty is fleeting

And that’s all that ever was

Next week he may realize

That sorry isn’t enough

When the opportunity to apologize

Is no longer an option

We move in robotic motion

Day in and day out

Depending on the clouds to

Shield the storms of life

And often times they do

But what happens when the

Rain cracks the sky

And the sun gives way to darkness

Will we survive?

I took for granted all the things

That appeared to be so stationary

That crutch of a wall

I heavily leaned on

And now the sheet rock is breaking

In a life filled with hollow guarantees

Who is still left standing

When trouble shakes our dreams?

Never Let Go (New Poem)

The tight grip you once had

Has now been loosed

Don’t know when or how

But the fact remains the same

Drifting away and searching

To find my way back to you

You let me down and disappointed

Now I’m disjointed, disconnected

Unplugged and left reflecting

On what you did to me

Yeah that’s what I’ll call it

Cause it’s easier to place blame

Than responsibility

You turned away when

I needed you most

I begged for you to stay

But you insisted you had to go

Until the light came on

My ah-ha moment

Your hand was always there

I was the one that let go of it

Pull Back Therapy

It’s funny how we learn the best life lessons through some of our greatest hurts. Recently I’ve been experiencing some severe back pain (largely due to injuring myself playing drums in the marching band in high school). I used to think people who complained about back pain were being over-dramatic…until it happened to me.  Long story short, I’ve been going to a chiropractor off on for about a year. My back never bothered me that much until the last 3 years or so. So far, the best remedy for my pain and healing has been getting a decompression. It hurts a little bit, but feels cool at the same time. You lay face down on the table and get strapped into all of these pads that wrap around your midsection and lower back. The pads are attached to cables that are hooked to a machine that pulls and stretches your back. The machine pulls your lower back towards your feet. Little did I know how this simple machine would tie in to everyday life.

Just like that decompression machine, we have to find a way to plug into something that unwinds us. Life can wind you up so tightly that it begins to manifest itself in your body, your appearance and even your attitude. Maybe it’s a stressful job that keeps you on edge. Maybe it’s harboring built up resentment towards someone who doesn’t even know you’re mad at them. Or maybe it’s pulling away from a person who’s really not in your corner. The thing about decompression (or pulling back), is the more you try to hold on, the greater your chance is for pain . The scary part is often times we don’t realize the effect that stress, anger, volatile relationships, and hot tempers have on us….until it’s far too late.

Sometimes you just have to pull back from obligations, people and more importantly, even yourself. Why do I mention pulling yourself back? It’s simple. No one will ever be more critical of you than yourself. But we often are selective in how we place that criticism. The average person can become their own worst critic when it comes to their physical appearance and over commitment levels. But how many of us are able to be self-reflective enough to pull back in an unhealthy relationship? Or maybe pulling back from addictions that ruin our lives? We want to throw pity parties and invite everyone over to tell them how we’ve been mistreated. But, in reality, we’ve done ourselves wrong by carrying pain that was never meant for us to bear. The more you allow situations and people to wind you up, the more uptight you become, the more pain you experience and the cycle goes on and on.

So what do you need to pull back from? I know for me, I’m working on pulling back from my stubbornness. Although it has kept me out of danger in some instances, it has also hindered me. Take my back for instance. If I had done a little “pull back therapy” and gotten my ailments checked out by a doctor in high school, I may be in a better place now with my back issues. I have many things I’m working on, as I’m sure we all do. Let’s all commit to a little pull back therapy today. It’s the best form of preventative care there is.